


Contemplating A Good Knife

by Skullszeyes



Series: Eating The Dead [10]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arguing, Bonding, Brother-Sister Relationships, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Knives, Nonbinary Character, POV Male Character, POV Third Person Limited, Protective Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 11:36:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18151355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skullszeyes/pseuds/Skullszeyes
Summary: Klaus and his siblings go out and buy knives.





	Contemplating A Good Knife

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea from being uncannily compared to Klaus, my sister and I compared our brother to Diego cause my brother collects knives. He has a bunch of them inside a black safe in his bedroom. LOL. So anyway, back in Jan/Feb, we went to a knife store and he wanted me to buy one. So I bought this large knife that's called The Vorpal Blade from Alice: Madness Returns, since the creator wants to create a third game! And I got excited. :D My brother is always pulling out a knife and showing us the blade. Haha.  
> It's fluff, that's it. Nothing too overly special. :D I actually wrote this three days ago, but figuring out titles is annoying.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.

Klaus hummed, a hand on his chin as he stared down at the glass casing and within were different selections of knives with their names on the side, including the price. “Does it matter which one I decide to get?”

“I said, choose wisely,” Diego said, before glancing past Klaus at Five who was several feet away from them, talking to a store clerk about a group of throwing knives.

“You know,” Klaus said, straightening and tilting his head to the side to look at Diego, “if I was going to hold a bunch of sharp knives, I think I’d take them from the box under your bed.”

Diego glared, “I don’t go around your room and taking things, so how about you don’t touch what isn’t yours.”

“I’m sure he polishes them,” Ben comments as Klaus looks back down at the knives. “Your fingerprints are easily distinguishable, Klaus.”

“I do wash them before I put them back,” Klaus replied, leaning down and expecting a bunch of thin switch blades.

“With your oily hands?” Ben asked.

Klaus scowled, “Shut up.”

“I get you talk to yourself,” Diego said, leaning against Klaus, “but hurry up, I’m hungry.”

Ben arched a brow. “That hurts my feelings.”

“That hurts Ben’s feelings,” Klaus says, distractedly.

“Whatever,” Diego pats Klaus’s shoulder before moving toward Five who was asking to look at a selection of knives, and gaining an odd look from the clerk.

“Do you have an adult with you?” the clerk asked.

Five glared, his small posture becoming tense. “You listen here you—”

“I’m his _older_ brother,” Diego said, placing a hand on Five’s shoulder, “our parents recently died, and I’d rather not have my _little_ brother wandering around scrawny and defenseless like his other older brother.” Diego pointed at Klaus who frowned at the shop clerks odd expression as he looked between them.

Five’s glare deepened while Diego purchased the chosen knives.

“Which one are you going to pick?” Ben asked, leaning on the glass.

Now there was a question Klaus didn’t know how to answer. He was never interested in knives like Diego, and stealing one or two was the better option. Not like he was any good at defending himself, even though he grew up training to be daddy’s _super hero_.

Klaus scowled. “I think I’ll get the switchblade.” He tapped the glass before joining Diego and Five. He placed a hand on Five’s left shoulder and nudged him out of the way. “Wait out in the hall, and let the _adults_ talk.”

Five sneered before heading out of the shop.

“Might not want to leave him alone for too long,” Klaus remarked to Diego who paid for Five’s knives.

“If you kept your big mouth shut, then he wouldn’t be annoyed,” Diego said, taking the bag and walking after Five who wasn’t sitting on the leather couch in the hall.

Klaus smiled and told the shop clerk what he wanted. Ben stayed beside him, looking toward the hall and then admiring more knives.

“So, your little _brother_ ,” the shop clerk said, glancing up at Klaus, “are you just buying him knives or was that a lie your _brother_ said?”

“I think he doesn’t believe Five’s our brother,” Ben said, frowning.

Klaus wrinkled his nose at the question. “What else would he be?”

The clerk shrugged, scanning the switchblade. “Sometimes it happens, kids walking in with their so called relatives, and later being seen with a knife. I wouldn’t want to have a kid that young getting hurt or anything because of the terrible decisions others make for them.”

Klaus smiled at that, mostly because if anyone were to come into their home and see what they usually talk about, they wouldn’t believe half the things they’d hear. And possibly go around calling them freaks. Which was fine, it wasn’t like any of them cared that much.

“If you grew up with my brother, which you haven’t, you’d probably know,” Klaus paid for the knives, “that my little brother can drive a car on his own, can shoot a gun, he isn’t scared to get his hands dirty, and possibly can kill us all.” He took the bag the clerk placed his knife in that was covered in a small box. “So, instead of accusing my brother of not knowing how to use a knife, you might want to think of not wanting to learn how skilled he truly is.”

Klaus walked away as Ben followed behind. There weren’t many people in the mall, and at first he wasn’t interested in going until both Ben and Allison wouldn’t stop begging him, followed by Diego who suggested he needed a knife. Around that same time, he managed to get Five and Vanya to come along as well. Now that they’ve got what they wanted, he was only so eager to head home.

“If only Five was there to hear you defend him,” Ben said, chuckling.

“Shut up,” Klaus said, trying to walk faster, but Ben kept in pace with him. They glanced around, trying to look for their siblings within the mall and found Allison heading towards them, waving at him, she also held a few bags, and one of them was from the knife store they were at earlier. Diego also wanted his sister’s to pick up knives and convinced them too when they they tried declining his offer. It didn’t take them long to look, while the rest of them were stuck contemplating.

“Hey, Allison,” Klaus waved, “where are the others?”

“Food court,” she answered, “Diego wanted to make sure you didn’t get lost.”  

Klaus rolled his eyes, and grinned, “I ain’t lost.” Swinging the bag with the knife in it, “did he found _our little psycho_ yet?”

Allison smiled. “No. I don’t know where Five went off to, I’m sure it’s something you and Diego said.”

Klaus followed Allison, and said, “We didn’t say much, and it’s not our fault he looks like a kid who is fifty-eight, yet born on the same date and year as us. It’s a strange thing to explain to others.”

“Then don’t explain it,” Five said, showing up beside Klaus who jumped and almost ran into Allison while Ben chuckled. Five didn’t look at him, he didn’t even wear a smirk, there was nothing surprising about him, nothing amusing about scaring Klaus who straightened and glared.

“How about stop acting like a child,” Klaus remarked, shaking his head. “Diego is looking for you.”

“I know,” Five said, then he was gone in a blink, leaving Klaus with Allison and Ben.

“He gets under our skin too,” Allison said, hoping to calm him with a smile. She was always there for them, motherly even, but more than that. They listened to her as much as they listened to Luther, she was a voice of reason. “But I think out of the rest of us, he’d rather be in Vanya’s presence.”

Klaus wouldn’t argue against that, they knew Five and Vanya held a special bond with each other. None of them could touch the edges of it, and Five’s demeanor completely changed when she stood close, her smile directed at him which also allowed his own to rise on his face.

Diego had his arms crossed, glaring down at Five who stood beside Vanya, both of them holding drinks in their hands as they stood in the food court. Vanya had a bag looped around her arm, like Klaus, she had also picked up a switchblade with a black handle.

Diego glanced up at Klaus and Allison and a look of relief passed over his face before he turned on his feet. “Finally, we can leave.” He marched down the hall with the others following, passing other people on their way to the front doors.

“What got him all pissed off?” Klaus asked, glancing to Five and Vanya as if they’d know the answer.

Vanya shrugged with little concern. “I’m not sure.”

“He’s always like that,” Five remarked, sucking on his straw.

“Don’t mind him,” Allison told Klaus. “Maybe he’s not used to crowds as much.”

Klaus shuddered, he didn’t like it much either. He liked the taste of powdery drugs down his dry throat when he left the house. The world spun around him, the colors more vibrant, and his chest expanding as he laughed into the air. It was enough for him to escape reality and all the shadows slinking in and out of his sight.

This, however, was a lot more difficult to deal with.

“Are we going home?” Klaus asked, leaning against Allison as they walked out of the mall.

“Yes, Klaus,” she responded as they spotted Diego in his green car, hitting the horn as they made their way over to him.

“You’re giving me a headache,” Five snapped as they piled into the back, Allison taking the passenger seat, and Vanya sitting against the window.

“Now you know how I feel,” Diego said as Klaus slammed the door shut and glanced at Five who was glaring at Diego.

He took out the box that held his knife and pulled it free as he dropped the bag and box to the floor.

“Don’t do anything stupid with that,” Diego called.

“You’re the one who wanted us to get our own,” Klaus said, glancing up at Diego who glared at him in the rearview mirror.

“Not to play with!”

“More to kill others,” Five said.

“No,” Allison said.

“I think they mean it’s meant to defend ourselves,” Vanya interjected.

“Then why is it pointy?” Klaus asked.

“Are you that dumb?” Diego asked.

Klaus looked up and smirked. He wouldn’t deny this was funny. He hated dealing with other people, but his family was fair game. He got to annoy them any time he wants. Maybe going outside was a good thing, for once.

At least he got a knife out of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey. I was going to stop this series at 10 stories because of my hesitance towards the large back lash in The Umbrella Academy, including other people's works that have "incest" or "pedophilia" content. All I have to say is that I'm a writer, like many others on this site, and we're allowed to write the darker aspects of human nature. We're allowed to explore those parts and never have them affect or control our lives, it's simply fiction, and if you let fictional characters doing fictional things affect your life, then it's not our fault for the choices you make.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story, and check out anymore work I'll be writing for this fandom. :)
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.


End file.
